THE COIN OF OLD

      TAILS

I'm an old man now,

  phantom unseen,

unknown even to my old self.

I'm an old man now,

  listened but not heard.

Who I was no longer exists.

I'm an old man now,

  seldom joined by the young.

Ignored by the alphabet generations.

I'm an old man now,

  never asked for what he knows,

unquestioned beliefs say they know better.

I'm an old man now,

  the white beard and the Kangol cap,

silently and too slowly walking his dog.

I'm an old man now,

  unable to stop the world's self-demolition,

resigned to the cruelty of humanity.

I'm an old man now,

  on the final portion of the journey,

the ending's fears dripping and percolating.

     HEADS

I'm an old man now,

  ungrasping, unclinging, letting be as is.

No longer requiring others' eyes to be seen.

I'm an old man now,

  unbound and unrepentant.

Able to speak straight, without apprehension.

I'm an old man now,

  soul channel open without static,

arrogance abandoned inviting the eternal.

I'm an old man now,

   liberated from who I thought I was,

higher wisdom preceded by astonishing revelations.

I'm an old man now,

  grace, bliss, compassion, patience,

now regular and peace-keeping partners.

I'm an old man now,

  jealousy, envy, and lust subsided.

What were they about anyway?

I'm an old man now,

 unmarried to earlier life events and conquests,

seduction by recognition obliterated by a higher calling.

I'm an old man now,

  no real past, no reliable future

experiencing the unrestricted grace of the moment.

I am an old man now,

  unchained from society's ambitions,

deep clawed desires and ambitions released.

I am an old man now,

  able to move his thoughts aside

realizing the mind only cares about itself.

I am an old man now,

  free at last, free at last, finally free at last.

Warmly welcoming my true self to myself.

I am an old man now,

  completely awake to heads you win, tails you lose.

Winning far more than ever before, constantly flipping the coin.

I call heads.