THE MISUNDERSTOOD MOMENT (8 to 9-minute read)

I understand. I really do. I have the very same problem with problems you do. Because we’re highly intentional Western achievers, how you and I handle problems is the problem.

But I’ve come a long way. I’ve got some wisdom now.

Learning to become aware, awake, and conscious of my reactions to problems was essential. I hadn’t noticed before, but I finally recognized that a problem left to simmer eventually swallowed me whole.

So, I started by noticing my built-in reactions and responses to problems. I sharpened my detection of early reactions and responses before they deepened and spread. I know what happens when they go viral. I’ve had these ‘cytokine’ reactions from problems before, reactions that exacerbate anxiety and agitation.

But this ability to notice my reaction to problems early on was best achieved when I was in the “moment.” That’s when I could feel and distinguish the beginning of my responses to a problem - threat, danger, fear, and uncertainty in their primordial form. In that moment, I could witness my thoughts and feelings, while before, I was unaware or very dull to these feelings and thoughts.

Once I became conscious of the feelings and associated thoughts triggered by the problem, my first step on the path was not to find the right solution. Why? Because the solution would have been a byproduct of those programmed thoughts and feelings.

So, I’ve learned to keep my nose in but fingers out. Not to disengage, detach, or disconnect from the problem. No, to stay with it, to stay in it and self-observe, notice who I am being about the problem. Become a witness, an unbiased observer of my reactive feelings and thoughts.

Now, my process for getting to the moment is self-inquiry. There are many other methods, but this method works best for me. I’ve made self-inquiry my yoga practice. If the problem is me, and I am pre-programmed with thoughts and feelings, by self-inquiry, I move from the subjective to the objective. I separate myself from the problem.

When I use self-inquiry, I become wiser through self-understanding and calmer because I am now the audience, not the actor.

My self-inquiry methods were developed by combining East and West practices and knowledge. Over the last ten years, I have engaged In Buddhist and Hindu meditation practices called Jnana Yoga, also known as the path of wisdom. It is brilliantly designed and highly effective for thinkers like me; it is a practice that felt the right fit for me.

These Eastern meditations open my understanding of the nature of the self, reality, and the relationship between the two. Meditations that allow liberation by discriminating between the real and unreal. In these meditations, you become genuine about yourself. You remove all your self-deceptions. You get rid of your fantasies, judgments, and evaluations and are left with what is real and who you truly are in the physical, mental, and spiritual domains.

On the Western side, I studied and trained with recognized philosophical and transformational teachers who were masters in Socratic and Appreciative Inquiry. The likes of Werner Erhard, Arnold Siegel, Fernando Flores, and Charlie Smith. Their methods provided a language and system that enabled self-inquiry.

Combining Eastern and Western self-inquiry methods and models and mastering manifesting it in others has worked incredibly well for me.

Self-inquiry brings me into the present moment. Problems occur differently in form, intensity, and thought when I am in the present moment. Being in the moment allows me to resolve my problems in several ways, and as importantly, my solutions work when resolved in the moment.

·     Being in the moment, I gain clarity of mind. When I’m fully present, my mind isn't cluttered with worries about the past or anxieties about the future. This clarity lets me see the situation objectively to make better decisions.

·     Being present in the moment, I have focused attention. Being present in the moment lets me concentrate entirely on my problem. This undistracted focus leads to better understanding and problem-solving skills, as irrelevant thoughts don’t sidetrack me.

·     Often, my problems are exacerbated by strong emotions such as fear, anger, or stress. Being in the moment allows me to regulate my emotions better and approach the problem more calmly and rationally.

·     Being fully present in the moment unlocks my creativity and innovative thinking. When I’m not preoccupied with other thoughts, my mind can explore different perspectives and develop novel solutions to problems.

·     Being present in the moment involves accepting the reality of the current situation without judgment. This acceptance helps me approach the problem resiliently.

·     Being in the moment, I have problems they do not have me. And the me that exists in the moment is a highly effective problem solver.

MY MOMENT IS DIFFERENT THAN YOUR MOMENT

Now, I don’t mean moment like you probably mean moment. More than likely, you understand the moment as fleeting, a flicker, an instant in time that quickly disappears. This understanding fits our Western culture’s linear view of time, where past, present, and future are distinct and separate.

In our culture and, therefore, in your head, a moment is merely a tiny dash linking the past to the future or one future to another future.

Like you, I was enculturated to see a moment only as this transitory link in the chain of time, nothing more. An instantly disappearing transient. A fleeting shadow. But with diligence, I discovered there was much within a moment if I could land and stay inside.

When I remain within the moment, it becomes the all-encompassing reality, the only reality. It isn’t something that swiftly passes and then is gone. This moment has much more depth and heft. I didn’t just pass the moment’s house; I got out of the car, walked up the front steps, knocked on the door a few times, and was let inside.

What’s inside this door is self-understanding and a spiritual connection. I became conscious of my reactive parts, which I had not noticed until then. Once recognized, they could be consciously dealt with. Simultaneously, I became aware of a more hallowed essence to which I felt connected.

Being in the moment unlocks me from my ego, past, and future. And when these locks are open, I experience my original self. The unshackled me that is present for sunsets, swimming with dolphins, and falling in love.

But it takes focus and practice to access being in the moment. Thoughts of the past and the future so easily seduce. Thoughts that pull and drag you from being here now. The mind is impatient, constantly sputtering thoughts. The ego is always anxious; it doesn’t expose its underbelly.

Can I stay in the moment permanently? No, no-siree-George-Bob. Not in our culture. Not how I grew up. Not in the Western scientific, materialistic, forever-young reality I live in. Too many pulsating loud influences suck me back into either the past, the future, or my ego’s wants and needs. But now at least and at last I know the difference.

Through self-inquiry, I now understand T.S. Eliot’s message about being in the moment.

“Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half-heard, in the stillness.
Between two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always--
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of things shall be well.
When the tongues of flames are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.”

T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding," in the "Four Quartets."

When I am in the moment, I can totally grasp how the “fire and rose are one.”

ANNOTATION

In The Contemporary Elder Sangha, we engage with many disciplines besides self-inquiry – Hatha Yoga, Meditation, Dharma Talks, poetry, prayer, journal writing, nature walks, aboriginal ceremonies, and shared reflections.

The Sangha enables each member to develop their own self-awareness and spiritual path. Everyone figured out how to assemble and combine their best practices to gain higher wisdom and connect spiritually.  



My combo in order of time and energy sent is Self-Inquiry (Jnana Yoga), Buddhist meditation, nature walks, and Hatha Yoga. And, of course, I have adapted and modulated these practices to best work for me.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

The retreat is open to all and has 2 rooms left. If you would like to secure your spot click HERE: https://www.requestingwisdom.com/retreat

Our next Sangha call is on February 28th. This will be an Open Call. Click here to join HERE: https://form.jotform.com/230334570253044