I AM

A fierce teacher on your path to elder is, "I am." Engaging in "I am" is a self-piercing contemplation, ruthless reflection, and brutally honest recognition of oneself. The hardest person to see, know, and forgive is yourself.

"I am" is a true, no sh*t, existential challenge. It fits the "no pain, no gain" paradigm perfectly.

If you have a noun at the end of your "I am," that has limited power. I am a parent. I am a professional. I am a sibling. I am a citizen. I am a spouse. I am a writer. I am whatever. You have defined yourself. "I am" is this known personage—your way of being seen. "Who I am is how I am known. And that is also how I know myself."

The elders' work is on the other side of the Equation of "I am." The "I" in the "I am" becomes more crucial in late aging. The ROI is more significant on this other side of the Equation.

Giving up trying to expand or wanting to be more known and successful in your previous nouns, nouns you placed at the end of your "I am," these nouns are untenable, unsustainable, and impermanent.

Now you hang out with people that allow you to be yourself – no nouns needed here. Whatever is present in these encounters isn't you being anyone of those nouns. Nouns have edges and limitations. Being unencumbered and free is not on the noun side of the "I am" Equation.

What if you take away all those nouns? What's left? Actually, who is left? Do you have any idea, because that's the only permanent thing? And that's not a noun.

Nouns don't give you access to what's inside. Ending your "I am" with words that people agree on - their context and meaning, as does the culture, neighbors, and family – leaves you on the outside.

Nouns come with their characteristics and qualities. Nouns are outside words. You have lived in compliance with these outside words. You've lived up to the expectations that come with these words.

As you age, outside words count less until they don't count anymore. Who you are beneath all these nouns is now the mystery to be solved in late aging. Pursuing who is the "I" of "I am" leads to a greater quality of life as lived.

Nouns can't give you access to who you really are.

I AM

I am not that shadow in the night.

Not the one that rises in the morning light.

I am neither one color nor another.

Beyond the chromosomes of father and mother.

I am not the lyrics of another's song,

but stanzas to my own belong.

The me not bound by chains of doubt or fear,

I have already jumped without knowing I'd persevere.

Not held to other voices, the self's voice I could finally hear,

A small voice, a pure voice, a voice that was crystal clear.

At that moment, I knew who I was.

Insight. Revelation. I was cause.

Marc Cooper